No one wants to be a failure. No one likes to lose.  Proof of that can be seen with LeBron James’ recent departure from Cleveland to the Miami Heat. He said and I quote “I don’t want to be 31 with bad knees and no championships”.  Everyone wants to win.   However, everyone doesn’t realize that it sometimes takes failure after failure to finally understand how to succeed. You are only a failure or a loser if you label yourself as one.  Losing is actually a necessary component of learning.

How do animals learn?  Anyone heard of trial and error?  Most animals learn by making mistakes first, then they use that FEEDBACK (remember that word) to correct their behavior and succeed at a task.  As humans, we also learn by trial and error. Do you think Michael Jordan was always the greatest player to ever play basketball? Of course he was, he was floating from the free throw line at age 3! But seriously, once upon a time Michael Jordan wasn’t even good enough to make  Lanley High School’s basketball team. Furthermore, once upon a time Bill Gates was a college dropout.   If they would have labeled themselves as losers, their stories would have ended right there. I’m sure many friends and family even considered them failures at the time of their setbacks. However, instead of looking as these events as defeats, they merely looked at them as FEEDBACK.

Feedback is like a progress report. It allows you to see what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.   Using this information you can make corrections to your current problem and improve your performance. They say that in general entrepreneurs have an average of 7 failed business ventures before finally succeeding with one. Heck Barack Obama, our president, once upon a time lost to Bobby Rush!   The difference between winners and losers is that winners interpret a defeat as feedback, and losers interpret defeat as an indication of their character or abilities. In other words, losers make themselves “losers” by labeling themselves as such.

One of my best friends repeats the following mantra everyday to herself. I decided to steal it (Thanks Renita…lol). Repeat the following phrase with me:

“I don’t lose, I learn”

Again:

“I don’t lose, I learn”

One more time:

“I don’t lose I learn”

If you internalize this mantra, failure will not exist in your mind.   The only things that will exist will be opportunities for learning and opportunities for growth.