People often say that there is a thin line between arrogance and confidence.  I actually beg to differ. You see, arrogance and confidence originate from two different emotional sources, and are manifested in subtly different ways. On the surface level, confidence and arrogance may appear to be the same however, after closer examination they are completely different.  Confidence creates positivity, arrogance creates negativity.  Let’s examine the difference between the two.

What is Arrogance?

The source of arrogance is negative emotions.   The seeds of arrogance are insecurity, jealous, and competitiveness.  The arrogant individual’s confidence is only surface level, and is created in attempt to deny their inner feelings of doubt, lack of self worth, and jealousy.   Arrogant individuals hide behind their education, job titles, and socio economic status and use these trivial things to determine their value.  Arrogant individuals have something to prove. They have to be smarter, tougher,  more attractive, richer, or better than everyone they meet.  Anyone who hasn’t achieved what they have achieved is inferior, and anyone who has achieved more is a threat.  An arrogant person values their talents, abilities, and personal qualities above others because acknowledging others talents, abilities, and personal qualities makes them question their own.   This manifests itself behaviorally as being dismissive of other people’s ideas and opinions, a feeling of superiority over others, speaking negatively about others who the arrogant person perceives to be equally or more talented than they are, and becoming defensive and dismissive of other people’s positions, opinions, and intellect.  Due to their lack of security within, they MUST make themselves feel superior to others in order to keep a positive self image of themselves.   Arrogance ultimately is a defense mechanism. 

Others perceive arrogant people as obnoxious, snobbish, and dismissive.  Arrogant individuals may also be perceived as insecure, explosive, and rigid as they become aggressive and defensive when criticized by others.   When debating with others, their entire ego and sense of self worth is at stake. If they are proven wrong, they attempt to rationalize about how they are right rather than use the situation as an opportunity for growth and self improvement.  In the arrogant person’s eyes, admitting fault is a sign of weakness and inferiority, something that from their perspective, is completely unacceptable!

What is True Confidence?
Confidence is a completely different animal than arrogance.  The seeds of confidence are positive emotions such as acceptance of self and others, love for self and others, and gentleness with self and others. Confidence derives from a healthy respect for one’s own talents, capabilities, and station in life.  Confidence also derives from acceptance of one’s own weaknesses, and gently acknowledging their own imperfections.  A confident individual has nothing to prove. They like who they are and aren’t threatened by others.    A confident person is content regardless of their position in life. Confidence isn’t shaken by failure, unemployment, or rejection.    A confident person isn’t threatened by another person who they perceive to be more successful, attractive, or intelligent than they are.   They also recognize that they are no different than those that society may view as “beneath them”.    A truly confident person not only admires their own talents, but also admires the talents and gifts of others.  They enjoy debating with individuals and don’t put their ego at stake during disagreements.  If a confident individual is proven to be wrong in a situation, they gladly admit their faults and are thankful for the situation as it has provided them an opportunity for growth. 

Confident people are a joy to be around. They encourage others and focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.  If they are forced to criticize a person, they do so in a gentle manner, and also help the person recognize the personal strengths they already possess. Just as they accept their own flaws, confident people also accept the flaws of others and chose to focus on the positive in others just as they prefer to focus on the positive about themselves.  Just as they celebrate their own victories, they celebrate the victories of others.   They enjoy meeting other exceptional individuals and don’t look at them as competition, but as equals.    In short, confident people treat others the way they want to be treated, and are able to do so because they aren’t burdened by the negative emotions of insecurity, competition, and jealousy.

To Conclude  

So as you can see, the line between arrogance and confidence isn’t so thin after all.  These are two completely different states of mind and they evoke completely different emotions in people who interact with the confident/arrogant individual.   Now here’s the big question, are you arrogant or are you confident? You can lie to others, but you can’t lie to yourself.